prologue about windows

need to explain some of the theory behind them

can possibly use the one I’ve handwritten, but need to expand it more and not reveal too much

~.~.~.~.~

FRIDAY:

Begin with Aerek and Danyana talking.. maybe about school… or better, about sci-fi novels

Iasmin leaves… dancing? getting a drink?

awkward conversation… end w/ Aerek asking Danyana to dance, as if out of boredom when slow song comes on

I don’t want them to actually be dating, they’re close, but not there yet

After the song, they wander over to the faded red couch while waiting for Iasmin

…maybe one of them is tracing the pattern on it with their finger.

Aerek gets the bright idea to spook Ias and climbs behind the couch, as does Danyana.

They notice the Window

describe its shimmering qualities

“What do you think it is?”

the usual questioning and hypothesizing

Iasmin comes over behind the couch (they’d forgotten about her)

she begins to joke about them kissing in private while she was gone, but then notices the looks on their faces and they explain about the Window.

They don’t want to let anyone else know

None of them dare to touch it

Iasmin goes to look for whoever owns the apartment, just to know who it is, but cannot find anyone to direct her. --- 1125 words so far.

Even though it is late Fri night and they have no class the next day, it’s late.

They drop the Windows for the night and go home and go to bed

1369 words so far

~.~.~.~.~

SATURDAY:

Morning, actually early afternoon.

Danyana wakes up

coffee scene like in the original version

all three have planned breakfast to discuss Windows, Ias tells Danyana.

she gets the coffee

over breakfast they theorize some more

Iasmin says she’ll talk to the guy who told her about the party

she gets up, talks to him, and comes back, saying that he’d just heard about it from some other dude

Aerek says he knows that one, and promises to get in touch

they finish their breakfast

Aerek has to go to the library to work on a project, but tells then that he’ll see them at dinner.

Ias and Danyana spend the day studying and reading and listening to music, and cleaning up the dorm room.

At dinner, Aerek reports that through another few people, he found out that the apartment wasn’t really anyone’s but had been broken into.

They decide to go visit the landlord

Dani: “remember how you said our best hope to figure it out would be to ask the guy who owns the place? well, even if someone lived there, they wouldn’t own it. We need to go see the landlord. That;s the guy that;s been there the longest anyways…”

of the building Sunday, after they finish with their laundry.

~.~.~.~.~

SUNDAY:

impatient about the laundry taking forever because they want to get a move on the Windows.

Aerek and Iasmin volunteer to go get sandwiches while Danyana watches their machines and other stuff.

Ias gets on to Aerek somewhat about him and Dani. She talks about how strange it would be to have her best friend dating her brother… jokes about it a bit… says she wouldn’t know which side to take… whether to protect baby brother or best friend. Says she’d be like a third wheel, but doesn’t seem to REALLY mind. urges him on and warns him away at the same time. He is fairly embarrassed by the whole deal and denies everything until he admits that they danced the night before. She jokes about catching them kissing behind the couch next time, and they remember the Windows, and ?mature?

They come back t the laundry room, dry, fold, (with their clothes having been dried and folded, they pack them up and head upstairs)

They decide to walk to Mensan’s instead of taking the w/e I end up using

the ground floor of the building smells like old newspapers and damp walls

down a short, dark hallway, they find the door marked Landlord in the typewritery font.

they knock.

Mensan answers…

use the same text for all this as in the original… make sure to mention brother/sis thing.

he invites them in.

again, they ask about the apartment, but do not mention the Window

he tells them that he stopped renting it out 6 months ago

“but Friday…” Aerek?

“yes, I know” .. Mensan.. . “I should call the cops, but that would mean letting them into it, and I don’t really want to do that”

“Why not? Is it the same reason you stopped renting it out?” Aerek

piercing look from Mensan

“What do you know about it” .. Mensan, kind of snappy.

“We just got invited to a party and ” Aerek

“Did you come to report who broke in? I don’t want to know. I already said, I do not wish to report them. I hate police, and I hate meddlers who try to act like them.”… Mensan

“Sir,” Iasmin “We are not here to report anyone.” “Relax Rek.” she added with a pointed glance in his direction.

“This may be worse than if we were meddlers or Police, but we’re just three kids that bumped into something odd behind the couch and are too curious for our own good.” – Ias.

Mensan , “I was hoping it wasn’t that. Oh, no. Who else knows?”

Danyana “Hopefully no one else that was there Friday.”

Aerek, “No one in their right mind would have climbed behind the couch, and it was not visible from the rest of the room. Anyway, we didn’t want to go telling everyone else. Don’t worry, it’s just the three of us.

Mensan, “That may be enough of a reason to worry. Three curious beings like yourselves, and all the effort of hiding it is useless.”

Danyana, “We wouldn’t tell anyone! We just wanted to know what it was, and why it is being kept a secret.”

Aerek gave her a warning glance.

Mensan: “Oh dear. And what makes you think I’m the right person to go to? Well? At least tell me your theories about it.”

silence

“oh, come on. Even the silly ones.”-Mensan

All three were surprised at the way Mensan warmed up right then. They nearly believed that he had smiled.

Aerek. “Well, uh.. we call it a Window.”

Mensan: “any idea why?”

Aerek. “not really. It just came to me. (pause) (blush?) I guess I’ve just read too much sci-fi

Danyana “we all have”

Mensan “so what do you think it does”

Aerek “ I kinda thought it could be a portal to somewhere, or like a fault in the universe, or some melting of matter and energy. Scientifically, I would say a wormhole or black hole forming, but it didn’t feel scientific. It felt magical.”

Mensan: “so not only sci-fi, but fantasy as well? That’s my kind of reader.” “What about you girls?

Iasmin: “Well, I’m not the one who found it.”

Mensan: “Don’t let your brother overshadow you”

Ias: “I thought it was whispering, but all of us were too afraid to really observe it.”

Mensan: “could you tell what it was saying?”

Ias “no”

Danyana: “Do you know what it is?

Mensan: “I have an idea.” long pause. Mensan begins thoughtfully.

“It’s been.. oh, twenty years, give or take, since I first saw one. We also call them Windows.” He looks back at them and becomes more aware of them, “Oh yes, there are more. The one you saw is not really anything special. Still, I’ve been trying to keep it quiet. There are those who would kill to get to it, and I can only hope that they have not found it yet. As soon as I learned of its existence, I stopped renting the place out and locked it up. Since then, I only went in twice; once with several others who know about it, and the other time alone.” He reverts back to the last visit.

Danyana: “If it’s alright to ask, who were the other people that knew about it? Did they know about the other Windows as well?”

Mensan: “They did. There aren’t too many who do, but more than there should be. It is a society called the Wardens. They believe that the Windows must remain secret to the public until more is known of them. There is another group that wishes to meddle with them, and those are the ones we mostly try to keep away.

Aerek: “We? You mean you are part of this group? How do you know who is trying to meddle? Who all is trying to protect the Windows?”

Mensan: “One question at a time, please. Yes, I am part of the Wardens, but don’t expect membership cards. Our problem is that we do not actually know who is trying to meddle; we can only guess. And this ‘we’ consists of a handful of scientists and other people who have bumped into the windows by accident. I do not know the full extent of it myself.”

Danyana: “What do those others wish to do to the Windows?”

Mensan: “I cannot fully explain that, as I am not one of them, but people have been killed in their experiments. They claimed that they could bring them back. It seemed like some sort of witchcraft to me.”

Aerek: “has anyone tampered with the Window we saw?”

Mensan: “As far as I know, they have not.”

Aerek: could we go see it.”

Mensan: “Not today. Perhaps some other time, yes. Right now, I need to find a new way to secure it.”

Iasmin: “That’s quite alright. You have given us so much to think about right now anyway, I don’t think I would be able to go to the Window now and see clearly.”

Aerek: “If we want to help you protect it, does that make us a part of the Wardens?

Mensan: “The Wardens are not a club, dear boy.”

Aerek shuts up.

The convo gets a little lighter.

Vocia enters w/ food and coffee.

The spend the afternoon at mensan’s talking to vocia, his grand-niece? (his sister’s granddaughter.)

leave, go back to school

long talk w/ just the three of them to digest what Mensan said.

Mensan had invited them back to eventually see the Window again (the next day? Monday)

I should have a bit about Danyana and Iasmin getting into bed (last time they do so peacefully.)

~.~.~.~.~

MONDAY:

breakfast, class, lunch, class, they get out at 4 pm.

immediately head to Mensan’s

knock on door

very little convo?

go to Window

no one dares to touch it

listen to intelligible whispers

eventually go downstairs.

Mensan tells the story of his colleagues going nuts over studying it.

mentions a rumor he heard about what the Watchers are doing.

they believe they can bring back the dead with enough life energy around the Window.

they make a late evening of it again

again, vocia joins them

talk with her about their ideas on the nature of death

religious debate

Vocia’s mother was uber religious, but died (of what???) a few years ago

(I should let there be some doubt as to the side Vocia’s on)

eventually , they leave,[ but Mensan asks them to give him a ring once they get home so he can sleep soundly]????????

Aerek and Ias and Dani get taken (take from original text)

OR Mensan and Vocia are alerted by someone from the bad side being nearer their own home???????

The Vocia timeline:

Mon:

they are taken

vocia unlocks them and after some excursion goes back to Mensan’s to wait for them.

Tues:

they split up

Dani goes to the library, spends the night

Vocia arrives at Mensan’s expecting that Dani and Ias and Rek will be there, but they are not. she packs a few things while waiting for them and winds up the clock

Wednes:

Dani goes to Mensan’s in the morning

Vocia had been there in the past 12-20 hours or so, but was too busy to do the dishes.

Dani is on stairs and meets Sariel

“kills” Sariel

runs off

Vocia comes upon Sariel’s blood puddle but sees he is not dead

goes to warn Mensan

saves mensan’s life, but does not get to Ias or Rek

they are locked up and cannot escape at all

exhausted, they drift off to sleep

~.~.~.~.~

TUESDAY:

once they wake up, they try again, and the door is unlocked and the building empty

“either the jailers just wanted to scare us away, or someone learned about us and let us out”

“I would love to know, but I hate the thought of staying here.”

“We need to get away”

“Can we go back to Mensan’s and see what he thinks?”

“Are you nuts? They got us on the way from Mensan’s. They’ve got to be watching it. /It would be very stupid to try to go back there right now. We need to get lost.”

take train

concert place.

notice they stand out in that crowd

change to blend in a little bit more (symbolically, by altering their lifestyles they are becoming something they aren’t, but it is still only a gradual change.

paranoid about someone stalking them

suspect several normal-looking people

decide they should split up.

decide to meet back up… SOMEWHERE?

say goodbye

switch too Sariel’s POV.. possibly even the same as in the old version

either way, Danyana heads to the library

spends the day there.

night in the reconstruction? area

list off her dreams

perhaps a view of an afterworld?

WEDNESDAY:

she wakes up and has no idea about where to go

begins to wander around, and finds herself heading to Mensan’s.

the door is not shut completely

she enters

she just missed Vocia by a few hours, but doesn’t know it

until she sees the clock ticking (symbolic of life ticking away and a speeding up of the entire plot

Since Dani cannot do anything at Mensan’s and fears going to the Window alone, she decides to go find Aerek and Iasmin [back at the square]????????

Along the way, she walks past the white shacks/ chain link fence area

and finds the newspaper

decides to use fear as her own weapon to buy herself some time, at least enough to find Aerek and Iasmin and figure out what they should do

they got too deep into this mess

walks back to the square

changes clothes

can use some of the old text here, perhaps

maybe I can get away w/ describing her as vampiric, but I should avoid that word

can re-use the whole reflection and flight up the steps scene as it is in the old text w/ my hand-written edits.

probably omit the 12,999

~.~.~.~.~

Sariel walks up stairs

she’s standing straight up, w/o fear

his job was to dispose of her threat:

kill her

bring her in

change her mind

thinks he’ll try to knock her out and bring her in, but I don’t have to state that.

he approaches her, somewhat cautiously, but does not expect her to be a threat

she boldly speaks out “Why do you want me?”

he is shocked because people never speak to him, except to beg for their lives.

he does not answer immediately

“Why should that matter to you? … You should have learned a long time ago not to meddle in things that do not concern you.”

“But they do concern me now” dani

“You have become a little nuisance to us, and they have asked me to deal with you.” he hissed in her ear.

by now they’re standing extremely close

dani, “So how did you get involved?”

he steps back a litlle, “that is none of your business” and gives her a glare.

“We both know of the Windows, that’s enough.” dani

“You know nothing of the windows” Sariel (in my head he’s taking on a harshly Darcy-like tone in addition to the creepy assassin one.. is that a bad thing? I don’t want to make him emo-ish because there shouldn’t be too much sympathy for him.)

“perhaps you could enlighten me” dani

“My orders were to remove your threat.”

“Am I a threat?” dani

“A pitiful one at most. Perhaps there could be another use for you.”

“What is your name?”

Sariel walks up. hand on knife.

Danyana is fearless.

she speaks first “what do you want from me”

no response, no backing away.

Sariel is surprised by her no fleeing and slows.

“What is your name? Dani

he replies by instinct “Sariel”

he quickly adds, “not that it should matter to you any.”

they glare at each other for a moment.

Sariel starts forward with his knife

Danyana knows she has to keep him distracted to save her life.

“When did you first see the Windows?” dani

“Windows?” Sariel is shocked by the term. “You should wish you’d never seen them.”

“Do you wish that?” dani

“My orders were to remove your threat. The Windows are hope for those who dare to claim it, and we will not let someone like you stand in out way.”

“The Windows have killed” dani

“They have killed the ignorant” Sariel. “They are our salvation. A cure for everything. They are the elixir of life. If we can find the path back from death, we become immortal”

“That path is a one-way street.”

“if that’s what you choose to believe. You could come with me and see if there is a way back with our help, or I can kill you now and you can seek a way to return on your own.”

“How would I help you with either?” dani

“You wouldn’t, but you would not be interfering.”Sariel

breathing against his neck, “what kind of interference do you mean?”

Sariel, distracted, “running to your little friend, hiding Windows…”

Danyana, reaches toward the knife on his belt. his hand has slipped away from the handle. She speaks into his ear “what about this kind of interference. do you mind it?”

As he reaches for her, she whips the blade to his neck and presses down.

immediately hot blood flows over her hands, and his eyes are frozen into an image of shock.

she leaves him with the knife in a spreading puddle of blood and runs without looking back.

chapter 8 by the original numbering: --- still need to finish editing by the pink marks on paper.

She cursed herself for lingering in one spot for so long. She pulled open the heavy glass door and entered an unfamiliar building. She looked up and saw many floors up, with giant windows along the wall with the door through which she had entered. There were tall palm trees growing inside, all the way to the ceiling.
In front of her were two ostentatious staircases, each leading three floors upward to a balcony. She ran up to the landing, from which she could observe the entire atrium without being seen from below, while she pondered her next move. She glanced around, taking in any possible escape, but found none where she would not be followed. The offices along the halls behind her offered hiding, but she knew that he would search for her unrelentingly until he had her. He was thorough and enduring.
She would have to wait and use any wits she still possessed. If she failed, she could still have the dignity of handing herself over, instead of being taken by force. If she was bound to fail, she could keep her honor, since escape now seemed impossible.
She examined the ground again, and then the walls. They were bare except for the company’s logo on one side of the entrance, and a counting board on the other. $12,999 shined on it. Now she knew what she must do to lose her follower and to enhance her disguise.
She stood still in the center of the platform and waited. Her breathing was deep and even despite her terror. She knew that, for the moment, she was alone in the atrium. No one would witness this, and if she was successful, the figure whose outline was visible through the glass would not have to opportunity to testify. She took a deep breath, clenched her teeth, and waited for the dreaded door to open.
She did not hear him stride across the ground below her, nor mount the first set of stairs. She heard nothing but a faint squeak on her left, by which she knew to expect him. She had no weapon, and no concrete plan. He certainly had the advantage, unless he let his guard down. That was what she meant to make him do.
She stood up yet straighter, and looked ahead, not a hint of fear left in her expression. He came around the corner of the staircase, and she could see he was shocked to see her facing him. His hand immediately reached for a blade at his hip, but he did not draw it. He approached her, hesitant, but not as cautious as he should be.
“Why do you want me?” she nearly whispered, when he had come close, standing not two feet from her.
He frowned, the first expression she had seen on his face. The frown did not take away from the perfection of his face, only enhanced its mysterious beauty. His black eyes looked away for a fraction of a second, while he gathered himself together. “I am following orders. I do not question their intent, and I advise you to not do so either.” He replied.
She stepped closer and looked up at him. He was half a head taller than her. “What is your name?” she questioned him again, against her instinct.
Surprised by her audacity, or perhaps rashness, he answered by instinct, “Sariel.” He paused. “You will have no need of my name, unless my superiors are upset by your answers and you turn to me for help.”
“They do not plan to kill me straight away, then.” she acknowledged.
“No they do not. They are curious about something you and your friends have stumbled upon. Something that was not meant to be disturbed.” He confirmed. His answers were sharp and quick whispers, but they were not angry. He was curious about her; not many people he had met were brave enough to talk to him, unless it was begging. He had lost his ability to read their emotions, always surrounded by just that one – fear.

“What are my options?” dani

“You have no options. You will help our cause whether you wish to or not.” Sariel

“What is your cause?” dani

“If we learn from the Windows, they are our salvation. A cure for everything. They are the elixir of life. If we can find the path back from death, we become immortal” - sariel

“That path is a one-way street.” dani

“if that’s what you choose to believe.” - sariel

“This is your cause? Do you fear death, then?” - dani

“death itself is nothing to me.” Sariel

“but you fear whatever comes next.” - dani

“there is no heaven or hell” - sariel

“Those sound like the words of a coward to me.” - dani

She could tell that he was intrigued. He seemed... almost expectant of something.
When he asked her, “Tell me; what do you think you know of death?” Sariel, sneering.

she lowered her gaze, as if embarrassed by his question, and noticed that he no longer had a grip on his knife. She looked back up, at his face, which he had moved slightly to the side as he questioned her.
“Perhaps I do not know much, but you will know soon.” she answered tersely.

Before the shock registered on his face, his own knife was pressed against his throat with inexpert hands. Their roles reversed, and Danyana looked Sariel directly in the eye. He had no time to react before her mouth reached for his throat, and he felt the bite of, not steel, but her own teeth.

------aaaaahhhh! that is entirely too vampiric. how should I change it? ---------------

might switch to Vocia’s POV…

Vocia had been trying to find everyone and get them back together.

she comes across Sariel’s “dead” body

or she just sees blood and footsteps leading away

Sariel had gone in search of Iasmin, as the easiest of the trio to kill

Vocia doesn’t know who he’s after, but is closest to Mensan and goes to find him.

or could switch to Sariel’s POV…

first a flash when he realizes he’s been tricked

blacks out

image or Danyana’s feet (black boots) walking away before he completely passes out

when he wakes up, he thirsts for revenge

*** I have a logic slip here- id he’s bleeding all over, would he just wake up????

anyway, I”ll solve that later

He knows he needs to eliminate all of them, and changes tactic to go after the weakest one first. Iasmin is in danger.

or I could just do both, but that would be a little bit odd. it would have to be Sariel and then vocia tho.

I should switch back to Danyana’s POV after that, or I could just do the above bit in hers, but that would be odd.

she’s freaking out over killing Sariel

she (finally) realizes the need to find everyone and the stupidity of splitting up

We only made it easier for them. They could pick us off one by one, and we had no way of knowing. I only wish I had a way of communicating with them. It seems Mensan’s and the square are the only places I could meet them. I barely even remember our dorm room. Why would Iasmin go there anyway, since Aerek cannot get in on his own into a girl’s dorm.

As she is walking back across the rubble on the square, she gets the vision of Iasmin. She looses all sense of her own body and feels that she has climbed up to a window with bars on it. She does not know where it is. She can see into a cold, ugly room. Walls that are increasingly yellowed at the bottom. Partially ripped up carpet. A pretty nice dresser off to the side. She has never seen the place before in her life. Iasmin is kneeling in the middle. Sariel, or someone a lot like him is bent over her, with only the top of his head visible, and is pulling her hair while hissing something into her ear. [somehow finish it]

she ends up knowing that Iasmin is dead. maybe I could go ahead and let her see a shimmer around Ias as the vision is ending? or maybe that’s too much.

she continues to walk through the square, going to Mensan’s one last time. Feeling that Aerek is there. Feeling a need to go to the window. to protect it or to let it protect her, if that’s not too much of an oxymoron, since it brought all the misfortunes to her.

she is running up the stairs.

she realizes she just passed Aerek, and that Sariel just killed him. this could be either a vision or her actually peeking around a corner or a mixture of both.

notices Sariel because of the wound of his feet, once that sound is added to the sound of hers.

runs to the apartment

runs to the wondow

runs through the window

lands in grass

Sariel comes in right after her, but the room is empty (and the window gone)

OTHER WORLD: -- it’s not really a “day”

…. I’m a bit stuck on this. the original version sounds really strange and I don’t like it at all right now. maybe once I come back to it later I’ll be able to work it out.